5 Complaints Husband Wife Not Understood

Talking to the husband was not easy, especially when you try to complain to him. In fact, what you say is not necessarily the same as what he heard. As quoted from Womansday, the following five complaints wife often not understood by the husband.

Wife says: "Your family hates me."
Husband heard: "Your family is crazy, all your fault if they do not like me."

"Women love to talk all about relationships, while men are thought to immediately fix the problem," said Terri Orbuch, author of '5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great '. When you declare a complaint that contain the word "you" or "yours", my husband felt blamed. Orbuch advised to 'complain' with a better way, for example, "I want to get closer to your family. What should I do it?".

Wife says: "I think you need to find a new job."
Husband heard: "You're a loser. I wished to marry men who make a lot of money."

"Assessing the husband's choice about the work the same as doubting his manhood," explains Doug Hirschhorn, author of '8 Ways to Great: Peak Performance on the Job and in Your Life '. Men like cooperation, if he does not earn an income as you expected, show her that you both will try to change this situation so it does not look like a 'mistake husbands'. Tell him, "I thought you were not paid in accordance with the job they should. What if we look for another job that would pay you more expensive effort?".

Wife says: "I hope you can spend more time with the kids."
Husband heard: "You're a bad father."

"The husband may feel uncomfortable when with the kids because you are always criticizing how to educate," said Orbuch. Rather than criticize, better ask his opinion, because it can help build her confidence. Tell your husband, "The kids miss as his father. Let's make fun activities with them." Once you and your husband adopts the same about the discipline, try not to judge how to interact with children.

Wife says: "I have to do many household tasks."
Husband heard: "You're lazy."

"Men are not good at empathy. They also would not say 'you're right, you're too much work'," said Orbuch. You would be hard to realize that the husband has been doing some chores, like changing the oil in your car or taking out the trash. Recognizing the contribution of the husband will motivate him to help you. Try saying, "I really appreciate you've cleaned the garage last week, What if we divide the housework to make it more fair?"

Wife says: "You do not appreciate me."
Husband heard: "You do not love me."

"Women want confirmation through words, but the man menunjukka their appreciation through action," said Orbuch. Maybe you both have forgotten how to be grateful and give praise. Instead of complaining, it's better to say, "Sometimes I need some recognition of what I have done to our families. I also forgot to acknowledge what you've done. What if we give each other awards back?".